Dear Liberty (#1)

Dear Liberty,

On Monday the 10th October 2016 – so this Monday – it was Mental Health Awareness day, like it is every year.

Now, Liberty, mental health is something that I’ve struggled with for practically my whole life, and I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ve gone through a whole lot of therapy, diagnoses, miss-diagnoses, treatment; a whole lot of things.

This time two years – 2014 – ago I was going through a really bad spell.

I was stuck, feeling incredibly depressed. I didn’t want to/wasn’t able to go to college because of my health. I didn’t feel healthy enough to start working. I was struggling just getting out of bed, let alone go out of the house and meet new people.

It was fair to tell you that 2014 was the worst year of my life for mental health, and I honestly thought I would never improve. I thought I’d be stuck at home for years alone with no friends, with no accomplishments, with no future. I honestly didn’t even believe I would be alive, Liberty, and yes it hurts to say that but it’s the truth.

However… Two years later, although I’m still depressed and my mental health is still very much present, I have managed to work around that.

With the help of professionals and newly made friends I was able to get back to college and get a diploma in Performing Arts. With the encouragement of tutors and therapists I was able to publish my book onto Amazon Kindle, which I thought no one would ever want to read, but has been downloaded over 100 times on eBook. With the help of social workers, mentors and my parents I have got a job at a theme park and I love it; I get to talk to people of all ages, make them feel happy and welcome, and work with some incredible people.

Most of all… just yesterday, with the help of my own perseverance and everyone who hasn’t given up on me, I applied for university next September 2017. Who knows if I’ll have enough UCAS points. Who knows if I’ll get accepted, but the point is that I’ve applied to go somewhere that my sixteen year old self never thought she’d even be alive to see. I’m going to Open Days. I’m building my portfolio. I’m working hard so that I can one day make it into the Writing Field that I’ve always been passionate about deep down, but never had the courage to actually properly pursue as a career.

I can’t say that I’ve beaten my Mental Health, but I can say that I’ve been doing my damn best to work around it over the last couple of years and made sure to not let it control my life like it had done back in 2014.

I never thought I’d find love again, and I’ve found the amazing Ollie.

I never thought I’d find friends, and here I am with an amazing group of people who I never give enough credit to so I’m just going to say THANK YOU FOR BEING IN MY LIFE! You know who you are.

Life hasn’t been the easiest of things for me, but I could not be where I am today without the support of my parents, sisters, brother-in-law, dog Lucy and past cats who have picked me up on so many occasions. I am blessed to have such a loving family.

And to everyone who reads my blog, keeps up with my social media and has read my book, I want to thank you all individually. You listen to me gabble and type on about what I love and want interests me and about weird fiction in my short stories; you’re all awesome people.

So Liberty, I just wanted to say that in honour of Mental Health Awareness Day, life may be tough but it does get easier.

Mental Health is a real thing and it affects millions on a day to day basis, but I can honestly say, even if today is a shitty day, there will be good days too. Honestly, I don’t feel as if my mental health will ever go away – it might, I don’t know, but at the moment it definitely hasn’t, but I can say that it get’s easier to manage and does get easier to control. There will be bad days where you relapse and feel as if you’re failing all over again, and trust me I’ve had a lot of those days. All you have to do is stay strong and pick yourself up – asking others to help you also help – but do just keep going. You will get through the bad days. They will come and go, but after a while the bad days will become less frequent and the good days will shine a lot brighter.

Also…

Please, please, please do not suffer in silence.

Seek help. Talk to someone. You should never feel as if you are alone in this, because you’re really not.

It does get easier, but it also does take time, so be patient and accept and seek help. It will leave positive effects in the long run.

Thank you to everyone.

If ever you need to talk to someone, know that I am here to talk to whenever I can on social media (TWITTER, INSTAGRAM, FACEBOOK) and in the Contact Me section of this blog, but I am not a therapist, so please, if you are struggling, do talk to a professional as well.

Love Always,

Becky x

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